In my other life … Do you ever feel like you have another life or maybe your life is split?
That is how I feel lots of time. I have my life on the internet and my life out in the “real” world.
My Online Life
In my online life…
I know all of you and am involved in a great community of bloggers and internet marketers from all over the world. I have met several of my best friends. I have friends that I can call at 1:00am when my blog crashes, friends that help me when I do not know what I am doing or what to do, friends that will teach me what I do not know and friends that are there for me when ever I need help. I love my online friends and community. Without all of you I do not know what I would do. Sometimes I feel more connected to people online than I do off line and I know I have more friends online.
Online I write blogs, Ebooks, articles, comments, make membership sites, take e-courses, and try to market my products as well as products of others.
Sometimes though I think I can learn valuable lessons from my offline life that apply to my online life. If you have read some of my other posts you know I have talked about lessons learned in A Fish Story! and how they apply to the internet. I also have shared a little about “My Other Life” in My Life Off The Internet, and Taking A Break Can Be Fun And Productive!.
I want to again look at “My Other Life” and some lessons learned.
My Other Life…
My Bus or At Least The Bus I Drive
So in my other life I have a husband, 5 children, 3 step children and 9 grandchildren. Two of my children still live at home, a son 14 and a daughter 17. I home school my son and my daughter is a Junior (year 11) in high school and a Freshman (1st year) in college, she is dual enrolled in high school and college.
I go to work everyday or at least when there is school and I drive a School Bus.
12 Rows of Seats Filled With 55 Children When I Have A Full Bus. This is my rear view mirror view.
On the school bus there are between 45 and 55 children between the ages of 5 and 12 sitting in 12 seats behind me.
If you are a parent, aunt, uncle or have just watched a friends children you know how rowdy a couple of kids can get. You also know what it is like to try to drive a car without being distracted by the kids in the backseat. I have as many as 55 kids in my backseat.
I have a rear view mirror that is not to see behind the bus but to see behind my seat. Now think about me driving a school bus. I am the only adult on the bus. Actually I am the only person on the bus older than 12.
When there is fighting going on behind me or worst yet a fist fight, it is awfully tempting to want to just look in the rear view mirror and holler names over the mic.
The problem with this is I am driving 55 mph (90kph) down a two lane road with no shoulders. If I am looking back I can not see what is happening in front of me and that could be disastrous to say the least.
Since I can not be looking back and hollering at the kids when I am driving down the highway I have to develop a way of managing the children so I can drive without being distracted. I do this in several different ways.
- I have a seating chart and everyone sits where I say.
- We practice being silent when the interior lights go on twice a day for about 2 minute. This is important in case of an emergency or if driving conditions are bad and I need to concentrate.
- We go over rules frequently and anyone who does not sit safe is talked to individually.
I am sure there are more but you get the idea it takes planning and implementation of the plan to be able to drive with 55 children sitting in the back seat.
My Online Life And Offline Life Collide
When I am driving the bus it is a matter of life and death that I look ahead and not behind. I also am forced to plan and implement the plan or I can not do the job that I am hired to do – get 55 students to school and home again safely.
In my online life I also need to stay looking forward. To many times I think we all want to look back for one reason or another. The trouble with looking back is we can not see where we are going. We lose sight of our goals and everything starts to fall apart. Pretty soon we have a crash and things really fall apart. We can not blog or market on the internet by looking back. We need to focus on what is in front of us just as on the bus I need to be watching the road not 55 kids sitting behind me. I know I am guilty of this a lot – well not on the bus but online. I start looking back and concentrating on things that should of been done but never got done. Then I don’t get the things done that need to be done now. Many times we just need to let go of the past and start where we are. We need to keep looking forward and we will get a lot further.
Plans need to be made and implemented just as I have to plan on the bus and implement my plan. I also need to plan in my online life. Goals are also important.
A few months ago on January 1, 2012 we all made resolutions, plans and goals for the new year. Have you implemented the plan? Are you achieving your goals? Without a plan or goals nothing happens but, if you do not implement the plan and achieve your goals you will have chaos. Just like I would have on the bus if I did not have a plan, goals and implement the plan in order to achieve the goals.
Solution
When I started driving I had chaos on my bus and driving was a real challenge. Then I created a plan and set goals, implemented my plan and have achieved most of my goals. So, if your online life is in chaos, go back to your plan and goals. Start looking forward and see what is in front of you. No one can drive looking in the rear view mirror.
{ 30 comments… read them below or add one }
Wonderful post Dee Ann!
It’s nice to know so much more about you and your offline life
Hat’s off to you for managing so many kids at home along with your grandchildren, and managing the kids in the bus!
Speaking of which, I remember when my kids used to go to school in their bus, the person driving the bus always had an attendant behind to look after the kids so that the driver just drives without any distractions. Still the attendant had complaints about all the kids (around the same age as you mentioned) creating chaos and wanted the parents to explain things to their children to avoid accidents.
So, I really do marvel at the fact that you are single-handed managing 55 kids all alone, and they are in that fidgety age when they just don’t like sitting still. I guess your techniques and plan to keep them still are wonderful, specially as you ensure they are implemented, or else would be really tough managing so many of them and driving alongside as well.
It surely does take a lot of hard work, effort, time management, and setting proper rules and implementing them to get things done, whether offline or online.
Yes indeed, we all did make our plans and resolutions for this year, most of which I am completing as time is passing by. However, there’s nothing to match all that you are handling in your offline and online life- truly motivational
Thanks for sharing
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Harleena,
I actually have a harder time managing my online life, I think.
I really struggle sometimes to get everything done that needs to be done and do it in a timely manner.
I guess with the kids on the bus it is not an option to make a plan and carry it out. Other wise I would have total chaos and would not be able to stand it.
Online it is not quite so pressing and I tend to let things go. I really need to not do that.
Glad you liked my post and thanks for stopping by.
Dee Ann
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Hi DeeAnn
Omg I’m worn out just thinking of all the stuff you do.
All those kids on a bus and you being the only adult must be an absolute nightmare misses(lol)
And it doesn’t look like there’s much room on that bus so I’d
definitely get claustrophobic.
Yep you’ve definitely got to set your goals and you are doing a fab job of sticking to yours this year so give yourself a big pat on the back.
Won’t be long now before you’ve got that product of yours finished.
Take care
Dawn
Dawn,
Sometimes it feels like a nightmare on the bus but usually it is pretty good.
The one saving factor is I pick up the majority of the kids in the last two stops and drop them back of in the first two stops. So the majority of the way I do not have as many.
The best part on the bus though is when it is just me.
I am trying to stick to my plan and meet my goals. I feel like I am not getting it done fast enough. So am trying to do more.
Thanks for stopping by and have a great day.
Dee Ann
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Hi Dee Ann
Wow what a busy lady you are! you are an inspiration coping with both your online and offline life, I am not sure that I could cope with all you do
I agree that having a strategy, plan and goals play a very important role in our lives both personal and business. I see a lot of people stumble at the beginning because they don’t plan enough and they become a little lost.
Thanks for sharing your story with us all.
Pauline
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Pauline,
I guess that I really did not think about being really busy when I wrote the post. I was just stating what I did and trying to kind of introduce my offline life somehow in order to get to my point.
I am sure you could do everything I do and am sure your off line life is as busy for you as mine is for me.
I really think that planning and goals are important no matter what you are doing and I too, have seen people stumble in the beginning or even later on because they do not have a plan or goals.
Thanks so much for popping in and commenting. I always love to hear what others have to say.
Dee Ann
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I really like the analogy you presented; I can’t imagine it getting much more chaotic than a bus full of 55 kids! I do have issues like this with my web business though so while I don’t have personal experience with the dealings of your offline life, I can definitely relate it to how things are when I’m working on my business. For instance, yesterday I did a very poor job of ranking my tasks for the day and ended up getting pulled in 3 different directions at once. Ultimately my productivity was very low as a result. I’m definitely going to take your advice and better define and quantify my goals so I can have a more solid action plan with which to work from on a day-to-day basis.
Richard,
I have a really hard time with my action plan for each day also. Seems I am always getting pulled in a million different directions.
I think I do best when I make a list for the day and check everything off as I do it. I try not to stop till everything is done. If I do not finish everything though it goes on the top of the list for the next day.
When I do not have a list it seems I get nothing done.
Thanks for stopping by and have a great weekend.
Dee Ann
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Thanks for getting back to me Dee Ann. First thing at the top of the list to get the weekend rolling is listing out the weekly tasks that need to occur to keep things running smoothly. Then selecting days and prioritizing them to first thing in the morning. Have a great weekend too.
Richard,
Glad I could help.
Have a great week end and a Happy Easter.
Dee Ann
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Hi Dee Ann,
How nice it is to know what you do. I really like the way you show us by example what we should do.
If I remember you also have a farm so I can imagine how fruitful your life is. Isn’t keeping your self busy with good positive things great!
Hanging in there is so much better than hanging out. All the best to you and thanks for sharing this inspirational blog post with us.
Keep on Keeping on,
Terry Conti
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Terry,
It is so nice to see you again on my blog. I hope all is going well for you.
Hanging in there is definitely better than hanging out. I totally agree.
I am glad that you like my posts. Sometimes I wonder when I write them if this is the type of post I should be writing but they always seem to work out.
Again thanks for visiting and have a great week.
Dee Ann
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I wish my friend’s son had you as a bus driver. He has had problems on the bus, but the bus driver did nothing, nor did the school. Sigh. I think my friend worked something out with the school, but it is great when someone like yourself is available to make life easier for kids by setting structure.
My offline life can be crazy but wonderful. Recently, my elderly father has needed more attention than my kids. My kids joke about my newest “kid.”
My online goal of posting once per week (and forgiving myself when I can’t) is going OK. I’ve gotten busy with new proposals in addition to my regular clients, so that’s always a good thing.
The online/offline personalities and circumstances is a great topic – thanks for sharing your issues and experiences.
Leora,
Everyone has a different idea of how to handle situations and it is no different with school bus drivers. I prefer to have a handle on things and sometimes my kids think I am really mean because I make them behave and am fairly strict. I do know that there are drivers that just drive and do not do much with the kids. They kind of just let the kids do what they want and think that is the best way to handle things.
I am sorry your friends son has had a bad experience on the bus. Hopefully they are able to work things out.
I guess I like structure in my life so I like having a plan and goals no matter what I am doing.
Congratulations on keeping up with your goal of posting once a week. I have that same goal and have only missed once but life happens.
Thanks for stopping by and have a great week.
Dee Ann
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Hi DeeAnn,
Your post has a philosophical conundrum associated with it. It is amazing how an idea somebody had Circa 400 BC still has relevance today in the so called digital age. To illustrate the difference between appearance and reality, Plato came up with his famous SIMILE of the CAVE. Here goes:
1. Everyone is chained in a cave the prisoners see only shadows and take them for reality
2. One man escapes. He leaves the cave and sees the real world
3. He returns, but dazzled by the light, seems more stupid than before.
DeeAnn the question is harder for you than it was for Plato because both of your world seem real.:)Thanks for the opportunity to comment.
Kenneth,
That is interesting. I had never heard that before.
I guess my situation is kind of like that. Both of my worlds are real though and that is what you said also.
I don’t know which one seems more real. They are both just as real when I am in them. I really do love being online and meeting more people.
Thank you for coming by and commenting. It is always great to hear what others have to say.
Have a great weekend.
Dee Ann
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What a wonderful comparison on how to plan and set goals.
I couldn’t even imagine driving that many kids at one time although I know you brave souls do it every day when school is going. I applaud you for your patience Dee Ann and your love of children. I have no doubt that you keep them under control, I would expect nothing less. I hope they appreciate that later in life.
I’ve always been a goal setter but just short-term goals. Nothing ever too major but lately I’ve made longer goals and I’m aiming to achieve them all.
Thanks for sharing this with us Dee Ann and I’m so happy to be able to include you as one of my online good friends.
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Adrienne,
Sometimes my patience runs really thin. That is why I have to keep control over the situation on the bus at all times so that I do not lose my patience.
I admire you for your goal setting, as I think you have done a really good job of it even if it has only been short term up till now. Short term goals that are achieved are much better than only setting long term goals and never achieving them.
I to am glad that you are one of my online friends. I am also glad that you are so patient.
Thanks for popping in and have a great weekend. (I don’t have to work tomorrow so my weekend starts tonight.)
Dee Ann
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WOW!
To say the least, I can imagine a lion taimer with only a chair and whip not having nightmares of the gnashing teeth as you must occassionally experience. I think that I would be guilty of just stopping the bus, where ever it is and waiting for the ruccus to subside. You realize that it is eminate, so you have created a plan to head them off at the pass, I aplaud you.
Whenever I have asked for help, you have always been there and you don’t drive me nuts with a half dozen emails a day, thank you for that.
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Glen,
It is funny you say you would stop the bus and wait until the ruccus subsides. I have done that multiple times. Especially when I first got the route and the kids were not so well behaved.
When I pulled over and stopped, I would tell the kids “I am being paid by the minute so I have all night to sit here. If you want to get home you might think about quieting down and behaving.” It usually only took a few minute before they would all quiet down as they wanted to get home.
This is my 3rd year on this route so the kids are pretty well behaved now. I have systematically worked on one thing after another.
I never mind helping you out and I don’t have time to send half dozen emails a day.
Take care and thanks for stopping by.
Dee Ann
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Hi Dee Ann,
I’ve always wondered what living a full life means and now it’s a clearer picture because I think you’re living it.
You are one good example of how having goals and plans and sticking to it can give one a good handle on things.
You are amazing, admirable and an inspiration to us all. Thank you for sharing your story.
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Theresa,
I am glad that you like my story. I actually loved writing this post. It was fun to write about something that is personal to me.
I also like to apply my experiences in my offline life to my online life. I think there is so much we can learn form life experiences.
That is one thing I liked about homeschooling. I used life experiences to teach all of the time.
Thank you so much for stopping by and commenting. Always love to hear other peoples thoughts.
Dee Ann
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WOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!!
You deserve a gold medal, no wait make that 55 gold medals lol.
How on earth you manage to do all your offline stuff AND your online stuff is beyond me DeeAnn – I certainly take my hat off ta ya.
But as you so clearly demonstrated you manage it all with planning, setting goals and following through on them.
And I gotta say that’s one heck of a point you made – no one can drive whilst looking in the rear view mirror – I completely agree with you, and it will be all eyes ahead from me from now on.
Really nice to see a more personal side / post from you again, I am a big fan of personal blogging or maybe I am just nosey ha ha – either way I LOVED it.
Catch ya soon
Sally
x
Sally,
I did this post just for you because you told me that this would be a good post when we talked.
I like writing the personal posts, I just worry that other people will not want to read about my personal life.
The thing is though, I think I have received more interest in my posts that have a personal bent to them then any other posts.
Maybe this is a sign I should write more posts that are personal.
Thanks so much for inspiring me to blog and put a personal touch on some of my posts.
Thanks also for popping into my blog.
Dee Ann
Hi Dee Ann,
I take my hat off to you for doing everything you do. I know you do a lot more than you’ve stated here but then you’re talking of of your off line job. I suppose running the family home and helping on the family farm are just family duties eh? None the less important or time consuming. it’s pretty amazing that you achieve all that you do Dee Ann.
I don’t know that I could handle a bus full of children but the way you have your rules set us is pretty impressive as well. Especially when the lights go on, as they so often have to in any form of emergency.
Setting goals and planning the road ahead for both on and off line is so very important. You’ve given everyone a great example of both here Dee Ann.
Have a great Easter and take care,
Barry
Barry,
I would really like to achieve more than I do. I am not keeping up with my goals in my online life.
I have goals on the bus out of necessity but I would rather be doing the stuff online.
We do have livestock but my kids mostly take care of them. I am also planning on getting rid of most of the sheep this spring. That will make it easier.
You are absolutely right though, setting goals and planning is the only way to get ahead.
I guess I admire you and think that you get so much accomplished. It actually gives me something to work towards. You are an inspiration to me.
Thanks for stopping by and have a great weekend.
Dee Ann
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Hi DeeAnn
Jeez! You are one brave lady! I don’t know if I could handle 50+ children at the best of times let alone while driving a bus!
What with Home Schooling your Son, working on your Farm, running a family home, driving a School bus AND running an online business; how do you ever keep up?
It just goes to show what you can achieve with the right planning and setting out your goals.
Thank you for sharing this part of your life with us DeeAnn you have set a fine example for us all.
Take care and have a great Easter Break
Ian
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Ian,
I think the answer to your question “How do you ever keep up?” is “I don’t”.
I am always telling my son “You are a dollar short and a day late.” That is how I feel most of the time. I always seem to be “A dollar short and a day late.” It is the story of my life.
That is why I have to plan and set goals or I would never make it.
Thank you for your complements. That makes me feel good about what I do get done.
Have a great weekend and thanks for stopping by.
Dee Ann
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Excellent analogy to IM, Dee Ann, and I do agree about driving with young people on board. My experience of that is as a youth worker for 30 years working with young people between 11 and 25 and constantly having to take them places in a mini bus.
I was part of a team of workers once who drove all the way from the UK to Poland and the kids were often quite hyped so it was very challenging. We had a head on crash on the way home (not my fault, the other driver came onto our side of the road and I had nowhere to go because of the crash barrier) and I have to say the kids really stepped up to the mark, changing their behaviour completely and were so supportive and well behaved, their adult side came out immediately. God forbid anything should ever happen but you would probably find the same thing.
Enjoy the journey.
Mandy
Mandy,
What an experience with having a head on crash. I have come close a couple of times. One time I was driving down that road I talked about at 55mph. There are no shoulders and a semi-truck coming at me was crossing the middle line. I was trying to decide what would get fewer people killed – attempting to go in the ditch without rolling the bus or hitting the truck head on. Fortunately at the very last second the truck driver looked up and went back into his own lane. It was a pretty hair raising experience.
I can not imagine it actually having it really happen.
That is a long ways to take a group of kids.
You are right it is amazing how the kids really step up when they need to.
Thanks for stopping by and sharing your experience.
Dee Ann
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